I feel like I need a disclaimer for this one. I drafted this on a hard day. I like how it captures a certain mood—hoping in vain that the next morsel of information will be *the* solution. Not every day feels this bleak! But I wanted to publish it in case it’s a relatable feeling.
Almost every morning, I scroll through videos on Instagram from the dog trainers I follow. I have a challenging pup and every time I open the app I have this vague sense that maybe, this time, I will find the perfect nugget of advice for easing her issues.
On the topic of fearful, “stranger danger” dogs, I’ve seen numerous videos on Instagram about giving your dog a “safe space.” This generally means confining them in a room or pen or crate out of sight with a long-lasting treat. Everytime I see this advice I feel exasperated.
There is no way to prevent our dog from getting worked up when people are in the house. We tried crating her last time we had guests and she grew very frustrated. She ignored the raw beef bone in the crate and barked until we let her out. Then she ran downstairs and barked nearly nonstop at our guests, even when they dutifully followed our guidelines of ignoring her. She will take treats people toss her way, but nothing really seems to take the edge off her anxiety. She quieted down for about 30 minutes while eating a bully stick, then went back to barking.
This might be fine at least temporarily, if we could leave the house and see our friends. But we can’t leave her alone yet while we are working on her separation anxiety. Daycare is also stressful for her. We can occasionally leave her with a friend or a Rover sitter, but neither of those options feels sustainable.
At least we can do fun things with Halle outside, right? Sure, but only if we don’t have to pass other dogs on leash. She throws a puppy temper tantrum when she passes a dog within a 40-foot radius without getting to say hi. And this reaction is reinforcing—the more doggy temper tantrums she throws, the more likely the behavior is to repeat.
In other words, we are limited in what we can do right now.
We hired a behavior consultant, who told us we’re doing everything right in how we’re working on these issues. It was good to hear, but it’s stressful to know that even when doing the right things, progress is incremental at best.
So I return to Instagram every day to see what the dog trainers have to say. Maybe the next video will somehow be the perfect solution for a dog with this triple threat of anxiety: stranger danger, separation anxiety, and leash reactivity. Or maybe the video after that.
Ula! Thank you for sharing and for your vulnerability - adopting a dog with behavioral issues can be so tough and I wish we had better support groups for dog owners working through this. My dog really struggled with separation anxiety and reactivity when I adopted her, and it took her over a year to make noticeable strides on both. It can feel isolating, and just know you are not alone, you are doing SO WELL and providing Halle with so many resources. Be sure to take time for yourself, as well!
Ah, these behaviors DO sound really tough! I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Halle is super lucky to have you and I am sending best wishes for improvement, however incremental <3